I am in the front row, third from the right. My brother Jason is in the middle row, third from the right.
So, I arrive in Fresno two weeks before school starts to check in with the Cross Country team. It was an eventful summer in the athletic department. The coach who recruited me resigned in the middle of the summer, and the former coach (from the '70's and 80's), Bill Cockerham, was asked to fill in for the position for that fall. There were also several other "holes" in the team, with recruitment falling short on the leaving coach's priorities. There were only five of us on the team, with one ready to leave from homesickness before the school year even started. Bill did some scrounging of potential cross country participants. If a student had put "track" or "cross country" anywhere on their Fresno Pacific application, he called them. He ended up getting a couple more girls for our team, giving us a slim 6 (You need 5 to score, the ideal number is 7). He also was able to find a couple of basketball players to add to the men's team, and had a couple walk-ons. My brother was on the team for his third season, and it was so nice to be with him again!
The race schedule that season was pieced together as best as Bill could do with the short amount of time he had. We mostly ran in road races in town, the others being one invitational in southern California, Conference championships in Costa Mesa, then District championships in La Mirada. We had a great team chemistry that year. Maybe we felt like the toys in "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer"...we were just a bunch of misfits! It was a successful season for me, personally. I ran a 5K personal best up to then of 19:42 at GSAC, placing 8th overall, and also earning All-GSAC honors.
Those few races with college athletes opened my eyes like they hadn't been before then. I've always been critical about my size and weight. But then seeing other female athletes in their little bun huggers and cute little jerseys sent me a bit over the edge. For a short time I would routinely practice bulimia. But then a couple people found out and confronted me. I don't remember what they said, but it worked. I stopped before the season was over!
Track welcomed our new coach, Eric Schwab. He hailed from Azusa Pacific University, a conference rival. All of us were thrust into a season of transition and getting to know each other as coach and athlete. He gave me a very high compliment the first time I met him. He told me he was excited to coach the girl who beat all of his runners from APU at GSAC the cross country season before. Whoa! I didn't even realize I had beat all of them.
He had us write down our best times and distances for any and all events we've ever done in track. I only had done the 800m, 1600m, 3200m, and mile-relay in high school. He looked at my times and said that it looked like the farther I go, the faster I go. I didn't and still don't really agree with that, but he was my coach, and I respectfully submitted to his authority.
Sophomore year was awful. That was the "worst of times" from the quote in the beginning. I was broken-hearted, felt used-up, hated myself and spiritually gone. I fell into a self-destructive routine again of gagging myself after eating. It wasn't so much about weight this time, but about punishing myself for not being good enough. I was still able to get All-Conference again in Cross country that year, though I'm not sure how. While I was home during Christmas break I reunited with a friend from high school. I poured out everything to her and she prayed with me. She encouraged me to get right with the Lord, and give Him the weight I was carrying.
That night I prayed and gave it all to Him. Immediately, I felt lighter from the burden being lifted, and the room was brighter! I was made new, and I was a force to be reckoned with!
FPU Women's Track Team, 1995
Track season my sophomore year was the best of any of my four college years. We were a greater team, and were a tight-knit group. I had my personal best times in the 5,000 meters, at 18:48 at the GSAC championships at Point Loma in San Diego. The next morning I ran a 40:25 in the 10,000. In both races I finished second place to my amazing teammate Rhonda. Our team ended up placing 3rd place overall...the year before we were LAST!
Junior year in Cross Country was my best cross country season. The team of incredible young women I was a part of had a lot to do with that. For the first time a Fresno Pacific Cross Country team was ranked in the top 25 of the NAIA! Each race we would see PR's. At the GSAC championships that year, our entire cast of seven had times under 20 minutes! I had my 5K PR of all time that race at 18:42. I also earned All-GSAC again, but that wasn't even the best part. We found out officially a few days later, but our team qualified to go to Nationals that year! The first Fresno Pacific Cross Country team to qualify! We were sooooo excited!
Checking out the course the day before the race. It was COLD! Nationals was held in Kenosha, Wisconsin that year. From left to right: Angie, Kim, Chyllis, Jaynee, Vanessa, Rhonda, me.
None of us really had a great run that day, but it was still a momentous occasion, and we loved almost every minute of it! Those girls are still so precious to me!
Track my junior year raised another challenge that would affect my running attitude for 14 years after that. Eric said he wanted me to try to qualify to run the marathon at Nationals that May. In order to qualify I would have to run a half-marathon under 1 hour, 29 minutes. He registered me to race in the Las Vegas half and paid for me and my mom to go. That was an amazing run! The first 8 miles has a slight downhill, then flattens out the last 5 miles. My training got me through the first 12 miles. Praying got me through the last 1.1 mile! My finishing time was 1:28:15. I made it! I couldn't wait to get back to Fresno to tell Eric (this was back in the day before cell phones)! He wasn't surprised at all that I had made it, but shared in my excitement.
The rest of the season is a bit of a blur; nothing really exciting happened until I got to Atlanta for Nationals. I was accompanied by two other teammates that had qualified: JT in the Long Jump, and Coleen in the Hammer. Coleen and I were able to stay with my aunt and uncle in Marietta. I was so glad to have their support through the marathon race. My cousin Tammy even drove up from Florida to see me, too!
The marathon race was so strange to me. The night before there had been a thunder storm, which was nice for us to run in cooler, clean air. There were only 16 women starting, and slightly more than that in the men's field. We had a 5-looped course, each loop consisting of just over 5 miles each. It was kind of shaped like a cross, so that spectators would see us several times each loop if they stayed toward the center of it. Also running in the women's race was a girl from our conference who attended SCC. I was told by Eric that she wanted to beat me. We had a bit of history, that girl and I. I had beaten her every time we raced up till then. I had even made up almost an entire lap in a 10,000m race. But that was history, and the marathon was this day.
Eric wanted me to try to average 7:30 pace, which now that I know more about marathoning, was way too fast for me! But, for the first loop, that is the pace I ran, staying with the pack. I knew that was too fast for me by the second loop, so I slowed down. By the third loop, the prospect of not even being halfway done loomed before me, and I got discouraged. And for the first time in any race, I walked. I fell to last place. Never, ever, ever had I EVER finished last before. I didn't want this race to be my first! I had three goals going into the race:
1- Finish
2- Don't finish last
3- Beat the girl from SCC
I really wanted to do all three; but at the time, I just wanted to finish. Loop three and four finished with me continuing in last place. Then, on the fifth and final loop, a miracle happened. Eric told me the girl from SCC was slowing down, and he thought I could catch her. That was all he had to say! It took me another mile or so, but I caught her! I passed her! I wasn't last anymore! I even went to pass another girl, too. I finished in 3:48 and in 11th place, and met all three of my goals! There were 3 women who had dropped out during the race. But boy oh boy, I never wanted to do a marathon again. And I wouldn't for 14 more years!
Senior year was another bit of a blur. We had some girls on our team graduate, others transfer to other schools. There were only four of the nine women from the previous year's team left. I earned All-GSAC again for my fourth consecutive year. I was the first female athlete in Fresno Pacific history to do so! Track was ok. Eric wanted me to try to qualify for the marathon again, but I fell short of qualifying in a half marathon in Bakersfield by a few minutes. I really didn't want to do it again, which is probably why the "fire" wasn't there. The only thing from that season was a PR in the 10,000 meters, ending at 40:15. I was glad to have even ran that! It wasn't a good race, and I think I could have done better under better circumstances. Oh well.
And with that...college life and running collegiately ended. I didn't end on my best, I feel. There was more in the tank left, but I was out of time. I would take some time off, I told myself, and get back to it. I was getting married that summer, and like so many before and after me, I had such high expectations on how life would be. I was in for an awakening. Ken and I had a "five-year plan" laid out. Ah, the plans of mice and men.
No comments:
Post a Comment