Praying for healing...

Clarification #1:  One of my main reasons for blogging about all of this training is so I can look back and see what/when/where it all happened.  This has come in handy today, as I was wanting to know how long it took my calf to feel better the last time it felt so bad (I'll get to describing that in a moment).  I found out my answer, but also found out it was my right calf that I had injured in January, not my left which is the one currently injured.

Clarification #2: This is me being honest to the journey of life in general, not just the Ironman journey. 

Ok...now that that's all out of the way.  Let me explain.  Last Thursday at our track workout I was feeling fine; or at least as fine as one can feel at 5:00am in spandex.  I had the usual warm-up, the usual stretching, the recommended pace and recovery time, but it must have been more than that.  We were scheduled to do 2x (3 x 1000m) with a 200m walk between intervals, and six minutes between sets.

On the fourth interval my left calf felt tight.  When it was over, I stretched it.  After the fifth one, it felt worse, feeling like a cramp.  More stretching, a little rubbing.  On the sixth and final one, and by far our fastest (we averaged 5:46/mile pace), it seized in pain when I was done.  More stretching, more rubbing.  Time to cool down.  Running home was painful with every other step, and with a half mile to go I had to walk.  

I iced it when I got home, thought it would be fine and go away, and continued on with planning out Saturday's training.

Saturday:  Started out with a sluggish mile swim, then moved on to the bike.  When I aired up my back tire I pulled too hard and ripped the valve, causing it to flat.  Woops...I used my only spare tube, and we hadn't even left Pat's house yet.  We planned out a two-loop, 70 mile ride and set off.  About 18 miles into it, Pat got a flat.  Then his spare tube had a defective valve and wouldn't hold air.  So we were stuck.  A phone call to my fabulous husband, an hour later, and a tube delivery, we were on our way.  Seven minutes later: Pshhhhhhh went Pat's tire again.  Another call to the husband, and this time we loaded up into his truck to get a ride back to Pat's and decided do our long run instead.

As soon as we started running, I was reminded my calf was hurt.  It didn't bother me at all on the bike, so I honestly kind of forgot about it.  Not any more.  With every step of my left foot it hurt.  It felt like my calf muscles were tearing apart every time I lifted up to mid-foot on my strike.  Our intended 13ish mile run suddenly became a weak and limpy 3 mile run.  I was frustrated and scared.  This didn't seem right at all!

I followed the R.I.C.E. advice: Rest, Ice, Compress, Elevate.  I strapped on my compression sock, starting icing, kept it up the rest of the day.  Throw in a little Ibuprofen and some limping, and that was my Saturday.  Sunday I was able to walk without a limp if I walked slow enough, and by Monday I could walk normal again.

Tuesday I set off to get a ride in, sure that taking two full days off would do the trick.  The ride was lovely and just what I needed.  It was so lovely, in fact, that I had this crazy idea to run a little.  Just a little, to see if it was ok.  I jogged my hallway to see, and yes, it felt fine, so on went the running shoes and out the door I went.  I had 25 minutes until I needed to pick up my kindergartner, so figured I would just do two and a half miles.  No problem.

Mile one:  Great.  To run is to love what I'm doing, and I was running!  Mile one and a half:  Dang.  There it is.  It's starting to feel like a cramp again.  Mile one and three-quarters:  Oh my goodness, I have to walk, it feels like my calf is going to pull apart.  But I am a mile from the school and have 10 minutes to pick up.  I have to keep going! 

After pick up I let my son know I was going to go slow, and unfortunately I jogged the half mile home still.  That was 48 hours ago, and it took until this morning to not walk with a limp. 

This sucks.  How am I going to run a marathon in two months when I can't even run past a mile?  I want to run!  I love to run!  That is the one of the three I was hoping to do the best in!  What did I do to my calf?  Am I going to have to take a lot of time off from running?  Will I be able to run the half marathon in a month?  do the Ironman at all? 

Oh, dear Lord...

Which is how I come to the title of this post.  Praying for healing... Do I have the right motivation to pray for healing?  Is it God's will that I even ask for such a favor?  It seems like I would be praying to escape some sort of lesson He has for me.  I also feel extremely selfish asking for such a favor- Am I just asking so I will look better at the Ironman?  Am I so worried about what others think of me and afraid of their judgements on my ability and training?  Hopefully, maybe, probably, and yes, yes I am. 

I appreciate Romans 8:26: "...the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himslef intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."

But this one really hits the spot:
"Do not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7

So, I'm praying for healing.  I am also praying for God's will to reign in my life, no matter what.  I'm also praying for the right attitude.  I don't want to be mad, but I am.  I don't want to be anxious about missing the Ironman, but I am.  I want to be gracious, no matter what.

I have an appointment next Thursday afternoon with an orthopedic doctor.  Knowledge is power, as Pat says.  I'll be sure to pass that power on in a future post.

Thank you so much for reading all of this...and if you feel so inclined, you can join me in praying for healing.