I have my sights set on the Barb's Race, July 28th! I am tweeking some of our manual's workouts to be sure to be ready for it. It has some hills and heat; and the swim is making me nervous.
Monday:
Run: 10 miles with Pat @ 8:04 average mile pace. Nice and flat, but got a little warm by the end...even at 8am!
Swim: The fun continues! Tonight Rich had us do 4 x 100m and remember what our time was from start to finish for the total 400m. Then we did a 400m straight through and we were supposed to do it faster. Then do the same with 3 x 100m/300m; 2 x 100m/200m.
4 x 100m = 8:00 (I tried to keep my rests in between the 100's at 10-12 seconds)
400m = 7:08
3 x 100 = 5:45
300m= 5:20
2 x 100 = 3:45
200m = 3:30
With warm-up and cool-down, total= 2100m.
Tuesday: This was a tricky day. I could not get both a ride and a run in due to...drum roll please... being a mom. I took the kids to the water park, had to get gas for the van and some groceries. Ken took our youngest daughter to the movies, so I took the remaining two boys to the track with me to get my run in. My oldest two kids that I use for babysitting their siblings while I do the short rides/runs during the week are at my parents' house for the week. Which totally messes with my training schedule. But I'm trying to make the best of it! At least I got my run in!
1.25 mile warm-up; 1.5 mile @ 6:50/mile pace; 3/4 mile rest; 1.5 mile @ 7:20/mile pace; 1.25 mile cool-down. Total= 6.25
Wednesday: Fun Friend Ride! Rode to Sheri's with Ron, his friends Denny and Brian, my friend Jennifer and her friend Tammy. It was a great hop up the hill!
Total: 26 miles
*No swim today. There is no practice due to being a national holiday. :(
Thursday:
Run: Track workout! 3 x 2000m with 400 RI. We totally rocked those laps! The first one was the usual cobweb-dusting of the legs, but the next two were nice and comfortably faster. A great confidence booster!
Bike: Rode on the trainer for about 45 minutes; just an easy spin for the legs.
Friday:
Designated rest day. By nightfall on Fridays I always feel like I'm getting sick. It's just the withdrawal of endorphins, I believe!
Saturday:
A fabulous swim-bike brick with a few friends! Ray, a former FPU cross country/track teammate (AKA Bird brother!), Jennifer, Pat and I headed to Millerton for some open water training. We went out and back to a buoy two times. After the first time I had to take off my wetsuit; I was getting too hot in the super suit! I need more time in the lake to feel more comfortable, as the others felt for themselves, too.
The bike course we went on gave us some challenging hills. It was a total of 53 miles, and 3700+ feet elevation gain. We tackled Sky Harbor, then made our way back to the back side of Millerton. It took a lot longer (because of stops) then we wanted. We could totally use a sag wagon. It would be cheaper and more time efficient to have someone be around with an ice chest of cold water and Gatorade! Anyone? Anyone?
Sunday:
I am beginning to associate weekend trainings with masochism- self-inflicted pain that ends up feeling so great that I can't believe I've lived this long with out it. Weird? Probably. That's part of the fun, though!
Run: 9.46 miles @ 8:23 average pace. It took me a few miles to work out the kinks from yesterday's ride, but by the end I was getting low eight-minute miles.
Bike: Easy spin for the legs, 12 miles.
Weekly Totals:
Swim: About 3400m
Bike: 91 miles + 45 min. on trainer (maybe 103 miles?)
Run: 32 miles
Monday, July 9, 2012
Recipe: Vegan IronMan Cookies
These are my new favorite go-to food! They work great to eat before long training sessions and to take on long rides. I add a few tablespoons of chia seeds, a natural source for antioxidants, electrolytes and an anti-inflammatory. I'm not a vegan, just wanted something that didn't have butter in it.
Vegan Iron Man Cookies
(Makes about 45 cookies with my scoop)
3/4 cup peanut butter
1 banana- smashed
1 cup brown sugar (if being vegan doesn't matter to you can do 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup honey)
2/3 cup soy milk (I always use regular cow's milk)
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups old-fashioned oats
2 tablespoons ground flax seeds
1/4 cup slivered almonds-toasted (optional- I've never put them in)
1/2 cup dried fruit (I use blueberries)
*I also add 1/2 cup chocolate chips. They melt when I take them on rides, but it just makes them taste like they're fresh out of the oven, and I enjoy that. Do what you like!
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In Large mixing bowl combine peanut butter, banana, brown sugar, soy milk, and vanilla extract. Ina separate bow mix together cinnamon, baking soda, flour, salt, and oats. Add the dry mixture to the wet and flax seeds, almonds, and cherries. When well combined, spoon heaping tablespoons of cookie dough onto baking sheets lined with parchment paper, leaving some space in between. Bake about 12 minutes.
Vegan Iron Man Cookies
(Makes about 45 cookies with my scoop)
3/4 cup peanut butter
1 banana- smashed
1 cup brown sugar (if being vegan doesn't matter to you can do 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1/2 cup honey)
2/3 cup soy milk (I always use regular cow's milk)
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 cups old-fashioned oats
2 tablespoons ground flax seeds
1/4 cup slivered almonds-toasted (optional- I've never put them in)
1/2 cup dried fruit (I use blueberries)
*I also add 1/2 cup chocolate chips. They melt when I take them on rides, but it just makes them taste like they're fresh out of the oven, and I enjoy that. Do what you like!
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In Large mixing bowl combine peanut butter, banana, brown sugar, soy milk, and vanilla extract. Ina separate bow mix together cinnamon, baking soda, flour, salt, and oats. Add the dry mixture to the wet and flax seeds, almonds, and cherries. When well combined, spoon heaping tablespoons of cookie dough onto baking sheets lined with parchment paper, leaving some space in between. Bake about 12 minutes.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Running the Race of Life
I have been a runner for a long time- almost two-thirds of my life. In that time I have learned many cognitive skills and spiritual implications of how running is like life. The Bible has several running/training metaphors:
"...Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us." Hebrews 12:2
Not everyone has the same struggles, strengths, opportunities, obstacles, etc. We are unique in our talents, gifts and abilities, all of which are God-given. My race is not your race; it is not the same as my children's, or any one else's. Consequences (good and bad) for decisions I have made have affected the course I am on. They make it easier or more difficult. The importance is to live it with endurance...and to live your own life, not try to duplicate someone else's. I find this particulary interesting in comparing the spiritual and physical. Spiritually, I have envied other people's talents and abilities. Physically, I try to copy what has worked in training for other people. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. Stay focused, and never, ever, ever give up!
"I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven." Philippians 3:13-14
Have you ever run a race? It really doesn't matter the distance, because if you're doing it right then you're giving it all you've got, digging deep to give the rest, and completely relieved when it's over! It has taken the longer distances to make me so very grateful for a finish line. I long for it; I countdown to it; I make sure my cheering squad (if I have one) is there waiting for me. That is how I want my life to be. I don't want to be afraid of death, but to look forward to being done in order to see my Jesus. I want to hear Him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." (Matthew 25:21)
"Even youths will be come exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:30-31
One of my favorite scenes in "Chariots of Fire" is when Eric Liddle reads chapter 40. Here you go, it just might give you goose bumps!
"Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. All athletes practice strict self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified."
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Despite what you may or may not have experienced in church, there are no ribbons, medals, trophies or plaques for being a Christian. I am still called to live a life to try to "win" the race set before me (see the Hebrews notes above)- and I fail miserably all the time. Am I loving others unconditionally? Am I standing up for what is right, or keeping quiet? Am I doing all things for His glory, or trying to get a little for myself too? I totally get these verses. Training of the body takes discipline that involves what I eat, how much I sleep, how much of each component I work on. Training of the soul takes discipline, too. It takes time to read the Word, praying- praising God, confessing my sins to Him, and make right my relationship with others. It takes living a spirit-filled life that reflects the fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfullness and self-control. Like running a race, it takes everything I have in me to try to win..."with purpose in every step." Don't waste your time off the course. Don't waste your time living a life loving the world.
 |
| This is what I have by my kitchen sink. I see it multiple times a day. I think of my friend Meredith who gave it to me, and I remember the calling the Lord has given to all who believe. ("Run in such a way as to get the prize" 1 Cor. 9:24) |
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Week in Review 6/25 - 7/1
Focus...focus...focus...repeat.
Monday: Unintentional day off. I was supposed to do a one hour swim workout, but I had my in-laws over for dinner. We were supposed to eat at 5:30 so I could sneak off at 7 to go the pool. Well, it turned out to be 6:30 and I couldn't, in good conscience, skate out on everyone. That conscience....
Tuesday:
Brick: Bike= 22 miles @ 18mph average; Run= 3.5 miles @ 7:42/mile average. Felt great, just started a little late in the morning. It was getting hot!
Wednesday:
Bike= 21 miles @ 18mph average. I would love to average 20 miles an hour if the wind would ever cooperate!
Swim= 1800m (Including warm-up)
In the spirit of the Olympic Trials the coach had us do some distance:
2 x 50m, 100m, 200m, 400m, 800m. He had showed up a little late, so by the time we were done with the 800m we only had enough time to do a cool-down. It was during the said 800m, that I began to really wonder what in the world I am thinking...that is about 1/5 of the way as the Ironman.
Most of the way I was thinking: "Why do I think this is fun again?" "What am I doing?" "Who do I think I am, a swimmer?!" "I am just a runner who does swimming and cycling...why don't I just stick with running?" "How did I think I was getting better at this?" "Good grief. I think I need an open swim." "I hope these pathetic questions are normal and they'll go away." "Whatever I do, I cannot include negative thoughts in my blog. Someone might think this whole thing was a mistake." Then I was on my last 100m of it and the sunshine and rainbows came back out and all I could think was "I am totally going to do this. Just watch me." And I did. And I will again and again until I get those pesky pessamistic thoughts out of my head!
Thursday:
Run- Track workout with Matt H. and Pat; 10 x 400m. It was great! We aimed for 95 second quarters, but ended up doing them in 91. It just felt better that way.
Friday: Designated day off!
Saturday:
Brick: Bike= 51 miles @ 16.5mph average; Run= 5 miles @ 8:23/mile average. Pat and I rode to Prather and back to get some hills in on my behalf. The run reminded me to be generous to myself and give my legs a mile before I start questioning what is wrong. Nothing is wrong...I am just asking an obscene amount of mileage out of them, and they're not used to it...YET. You'll get there, legs, you'll get there. And I'll be asking twice as much of you.
Sunday:
Normally I do my long runs in the morning, but I will do it tomorrow morning with Pat instead. He needs some pushing on the long runs, and I am more than happy to comply.
Bike= 15 miles @ 18.3 mph average. Just a lovely little Sunday-something!
I ordered and received the parking pass to go swim at Millerton with Pat and the Matts...hopefully next week!
Weekly Totals:
Swim: 1800m (so sad)
Bike: 99 miles (doah! If I had known that today, I would have gone one more mile to round it to 100!)
Run: 14.5 miles
Monday: Unintentional day off. I was supposed to do a one hour swim workout, but I had my in-laws over for dinner. We were supposed to eat at 5:30 so I could sneak off at 7 to go the pool. Well, it turned out to be 6:30 and I couldn't, in good conscience, skate out on everyone. That conscience....
Tuesday:
Brick: Bike= 22 miles @ 18mph average; Run= 3.5 miles @ 7:42/mile average. Felt great, just started a little late in the morning. It was getting hot!
Wednesday:
Bike= 21 miles @ 18mph average. I would love to average 20 miles an hour if the wind would ever cooperate!
Swim= 1800m (Including warm-up)
In the spirit of the Olympic Trials the coach had us do some distance:
2 x 50m, 100m, 200m, 400m, 800m. He had showed up a little late, so by the time we were done with the 800m we only had enough time to do a cool-down. It was during the said 800m, that I began to really wonder what in the world I am thinking...that is about 1/5 of the way as the Ironman.
Most of the way I was thinking: "Why do I think this is fun again?" "What am I doing?" "Who do I think I am, a swimmer?!" "I am just a runner who does swimming and cycling...why don't I just stick with running?" "How did I think I was getting better at this?" "Good grief. I think I need an open swim." "I hope these pathetic questions are normal and they'll go away." "Whatever I do, I cannot include negative thoughts in my blog. Someone might think this whole thing was a mistake." Then I was on my last 100m of it and the sunshine and rainbows came back out and all I could think was "I am totally going to do this. Just watch me." And I did. And I will again and again until I get those pesky pessamistic thoughts out of my head!
Thursday:
Run- Track workout with Matt H. and Pat; 10 x 400m. It was great! We aimed for 95 second quarters, but ended up doing them in 91. It just felt better that way.
Friday: Designated day off!
Saturday:
Brick: Bike= 51 miles @ 16.5mph average; Run= 5 miles @ 8:23/mile average. Pat and I rode to Prather and back to get some hills in on my behalf. The run reminded me to be generous to myself and give my legs a mile before I start questioning what is wrong. Nothing is wrong...I am just asking an obscene amount of mileage out of them, and they're not used to it...YET. You'll get there, legs, you'll get there. And I'll be asking twice as much of you.
Sunday:
Normally I do my long runs in the morning, but I will do it tomorrow morning with Pat instead. He needs some pushing on the long runs, and I am more than happy to comply.
Bike= 15 miles @ 18.3 mph average. Just a lovely little Sunday-something!
I ordered and received the parking pass to go swim at Millerton with Pat and the Matts...hopefully next week!
Weekly Totals:
Swim: 1800m (so sad)
Bike: 99 miles (doah! If I had known that today, I would have gone one more mile to round it to 100!)
Run: 14.5 miles
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Week in Review 6/17 - 6/24
Hey...I'm back! It's been awhile since the last weekly update, and this has been a good week to give an update for. From now on they will be Monday to Sunday instead of the previous Sunday to Saturday. Pat and I are sticking closely to the official training manual now, and it goes Monday to Sunday. Just this week I'll include Sunday, June 17th. For old times' sake.
Two things I keep in the back of my mind while going by the manual:
(1) The goal is in November. Not now, not next month. I will have races between now and then that I will want to do well in but probably won't as much as if they were my focal event. The manual is for the signature event in November.
(2) I have a half-distance triathlon in less than 5 weeks. So guess what? I am going to tweek the manual. Not because I'm a careless renegade or anything, but because 70.3 miles is a long way to be uncomfortable and ill-prepared. My focus is still in November...I'm just going to bike and run farther than I'm told. And I'm going to throw in some hills, too.
Sunday- 10 mile run. I have forgotten what it is like to run in heat. I decided to run in the morning because the forecast predicted 106 degrees as a high. Turned out to be 108. It was already hot and balmy when I started running at 6am. I was doing a good pace for the first 6 miles, and then the heat and lack of preparation (i.e. proper fueling...when am I going to learn?) got to me. I "limped" the last 4 miles home, dizzy, hot, and not sweating as much as I should.
Monday- The manual called for only a 1 hour swim, so that's what I did. I finally returned to the swim practice and was harshly brought back to my swimming reality: "Use it, or lose it." That's right, folks. Kerry Sue is not a great swimmer, and missing two weeks just makes it all the more complicated. But I did it, was glad I went, and can't wait for next time.
Tuesday- Morning: Easy 10K run with Pat. Evening: One hour ride in north Fresno, just flat and fast.
Wednesday- Almost didn't think I'd make a ride fit in this day, but I was able to ride (the long way) to swim practice and have Ken pick me up. It was a lovely double-duty! Which made swimming feel all the much better from the quick ride (I wasn't sure I allowed enough time for the distance I planned. It ended up being perfect).
Thursday- Track workout morning. Matt H. and Nabil joined Pat and I for some mile repeats. Pat once again was able to pull a sub-6 minute mile, coming in at 5:47. That was too fast for me, and I poked in at 6:01, just missing the goal for under six minutes. Boo hoo. My legs felt tired though, and I was really glad when the three repeats were over!
Friday- Day off. Really- the manual said so!
Saturday- Oh my goodness. I am going to LOVE regular, challenging Saturday rides! I arranged to ride with Jennifer, the friend I made from swim practice. She is such a gem and a blessing! She's a wife, mom, Christian, cyclist and now triathlete. Really? It's like getting a gift straight from God. She's sweet, fun, encouraging and ready to bring out the inner beast on trainings. She's a keeper!
We rode to Humphrey's from her house, a 45 mile ride. It was nice and easy, but super fun and enjoyable. We ran just over 2 miles when we got back, just to get a bit of a brick in.
Sunday- 15 mile run at 8:02/mile average pace. Felt great, lovely (and cool!) morning. The secret? Waking up at 3am to eat a stack of pancakes that was leftover from Saturday's breakfast! I went back to sleep for a couple hours and was ready to go at 5am. My knees are a little sore, but I iced them right away when I got back, and will again this evening.
Great week, great to be back! Woo!
Week's totals: (This is kind of cheating since there are 8 days in this review. Oh, well!)
Swimming: 4300m
Cycling: 81 miles
Running: 36 miles
Two things I keep in the back of my mind while going by the manual:
(1) The goal is in November. Not now, not next month. I will have races between now and then that I will want to do well in but probably won't as much as if they were my focal event. The manual is for the signature event in November.
(2) I have a half-distance triathlon in less than 5 weeks. So guess what? I am going to tweek the manual. Not because I'm a careless renegade or anything, but because 70.3 miles is a long way to be uncomfortable and ill-prepared. My focus is still in November...I'm just going to bike and run farther than I'm told. And I'm going to throw in some hills, too.
Sunday- 10 mile run. I have forgotten what it is like to run in heat. I decided to run in the morning because the forecast predicted 106 degrees as a high. Turned out to be 108. It was already hot and balmy when I started running at 6am. I was doing a good pace for the first 6 miles, and then the heat and lack of preparation (i.e. proper fueling...when am I going to learn?) got to me. I "limped" the last 4 miles home, dizzy, hot, and not sweating as much as I should.
Monday- The manual called for only a 1 hour swim, so that's what I did. I finally returned to the swim practice and was harshly brought back to my swimming reality: "Use it, or lose it." That's right, folks. Kerry Sue is not a great swimmer, and missing two weeks just makes it all the more complicated. But I did it, was glad I went, and can't wait for next time.
Tuesday- Morning: Easy 10K run with Pat. Evening: One hour ride in north Fresno, just flat and fast.
Wednesday- Almost didn't think I'd make a ride fit in this day, but I was able to ride (the long way) to swim practice and have Ken pick me up. It was a lovely double-duty! Which made swimming feel all the much better from the quick ride (I wasn't sure I allowed enough time for the distance I planned. It ended up being perfect).
Thursday- Track workout morning. Matt H. and Nabil joined Pat and I for some mile repeats. Pat once again was able to pull a sub-6 minute mile, coming in at 5:47. That was too fast for me, and I poked in at 6:01, just missing the goal for under six minutes. Boo hoo. My legs felt tired though, and I was really glad when the three repeats were over!
Friday- Day off. Really- the manual said so!
Saturday- Oh my goodness. I am going to LOVE regular, challenging Saturday rides! I arranged to ride with Jennifer, the friend I made from swim practice. She is such a gem and a blessing! She's a wife, mom, Christian, cyclist and now triathlete. Really? It's like getting a gift straight from God. She's sweet, fun, encouraging and ready to bring out the inner beast on trainings. She's a keeper!
We rode to Humphrey's from her house, a 45 mile ride. It was nice and easy, but super fun and enjoyable. We ran just over 2 miles when we got back, just to get a bit of a brick in.
Sunday- 15 mile run at 8:02/mile average pace. Felt great, lovely (and cool!) morning. The secret? Waking up at 3am to eat a stack of pancakes that was leftover from Saturday's breakfast! I went back to sleep for a couple hours and was ready to go at 5am. My knees are a little sore, but I iced them right away when I got back, and will again this evening.
Great week, great to be back! Woo!
Week's totals: (This is kind of cheating since there are 8 days in this review. Oh, well!)
Swimming: 4300m
Cycling: 81 miles
Running: 36 miles
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
My brother, My Sponsor
I have been blessed with an amazing brother. Not just because he buys me stuff, either, which is very cool. But because he sees the best in me, believes I can do immeasurably more than I probably can, and motivates me to keep living a full, active life.
He recently bought me a new Xterra wetsuit. He found a promotion code online and got it 60% cheaper than their listed price! This is me trying it out for the first time on my recent visit to my parent's:
He also sent me this package, that I received a couple of days ago:
Yes, I have been greatly blessed indeed!!!
He recently bought me a new Xterra wetsuit. He found a promotion code online and got it 60% cheaper than their listed price! This is me trying it out for the first time on my recent visit to my parent's:
 |
| At One-Mile Recreation area in the beautiful Bidwell Park. I only had to swim 10 laps to get 3/4 of a mile! |
He also sent me this package, that I received a couple of days ago:
 |
| He heard that I take fruit snacks with me on my rides, so thought I could use a restocking! |
Monday, June 18, 2012
Don't worry...
What happened to the last month? Where have I been? What have I been doing?
Four weeks. That's how long I've kept you all in suspense. Have I been training? Yes. It feels like the answer should be no, but when I look on Garmin Connect it shows me that yes, I have been doing something. Something is always better than nothing. But it hasn't been the something that I have been wanting to do. I have long struggled with trying to please people at the expense of what I want. And so it continues. Turns out there are a lot of people who have missed me the passed several months, including (but not limited to) my husband and children. There have been places to go, people to see, responsibilities to keep in check along the Ironman journey. November will come and go, but the important people in my life are here to stay.
Which makes this whole journey thing really complicated. What I really want to do is swim, bike, run, do yoga, maybe some P90X video all day long. Or at least most of the day. I really, really like it...all of it! I like figuring out where I am going to ride and run. I like figuring out my nutrition and fueling. I like training with Pat and others and having long conversations about training, fueling, equipment, etc. I like setting goals for myself and meeting/exceeding them. I even like having the occasional "bonk" to keep it all in perspective and keep me from thinking too highly of myself. I really, really like it.
What I do not like is the growing guilt of what all of that means. I don't do my homemaking responsibilities nearly as well as I used to. I'd like to think I could if I really wanted to, but I'm over thinking Wonder Woman is real and that I can be just like her. There is only so much I can do in a day, and there are only so many hours I can do it all in. I feel constantly pulled between being a fully responsible wife & mother and training. Training makes me feel strong, like I can do something right and also well. I cannot always say that of the former roles.
But don't worry. I've been blessed with an overwhelming gift of optimism, and I know it will all be alright. I'll figure it out. That's one of the things I said I liked, right?
Four weeks. That's how long I've kept you all in suspense. Have I been training? Yes. It feels like the answer should be no, but when I look on Garmin Connect it shows me that yes, I have been doing something. Something is always better than nothing. But it hasn't been the something that I have been wanting to do. I have long struggled with trying to please people at the expense of what I want. And so it continues. Turns out there are a lot of people who have missed me the passed several months, including (but not limited to) my husband and children. There have been places to go, people to see, responsibilities to keep in check along the Ironman journey. November will come and go, but the important people in my life are here to stay.
Which makes this whole journey thing really complicated. What I really want to do is swim, bike, run, do yoga, maybe some P90X video all day long. Or at least most of the day. I really, really like it...all of it! I like figuring out where I am going to ride and run. I like figuring out my nutrition and fueling. I like training with Pat and others and having long conversations about training, fueling, equipment, etc. I like setting goals for myself and meeting/exceeding them. I even like having the occasional "bonk" to keep it all in perspective and keep me from thinking too highly of myself. I really, really like it.
What I do not like is the growing guilt of what all of that means. I don't do my homemaking responsibilities nearly as well as I used to. I'd like to think I could if I really wanted to, but I'm over thinking Wonder Woman is real and that I can be just like her. There is only so much I can do in a day, and there are only so many hours I can do it all in. I feel constantly pulled between being a fully responsible wife & mother and training. Training makes me feel strong, like I can do something right and also well. I cannot always say that of the former roles.
But don't worry. I've been blessed with an overwhelming gift of optimism, and I know it will all be alright. I'll figure it out. That's one of the things I said I liked, right?
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